I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
