I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
