Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
