is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
