I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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