He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
