I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
