Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
