So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
