i always forget guys have bellybuttons
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
