ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
