Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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