It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
