He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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