He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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