I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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