so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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