sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am midnight drunk by noon
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
