were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize