you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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