3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
