Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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