she was so not down for the gang bang
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
