it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Randomize
