Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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