he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
