She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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