And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
