problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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