I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
