There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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