Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
