oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
