Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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