Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
