i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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