Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Maybe he injected his testicle?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
