Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
