I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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