he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
