At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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