margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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