so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
