eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
