Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
