The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
