Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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