I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
