I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
