Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
